The Future of Marvel

The powah will destroy us all!!


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Ryan Reynolds is the Multiverse!

So RR will be playing two major popular comic book characters, from the big two opposite comic book industries!



Yes RR is Green Lantern and Deadpool. Now I have nothing against the man, but he isn't the right choice (IMO) for GL. He was a good choice for Deadpool in Wolverine Origins, but the character was so far away from Deadpool you couldn't even close your eyes, scream "la la la la la" and pretend otherwise. Basically what went wrong there was th writers were shit at writing...plain and simple. And also seem to not actually do any research on the Deadpool character. The only hope with the upcoming Deadpool stand-alone film is that they somehow DON'T use the same people and you know...maybe read a bit about Deadpool.

Now on to the Green Lantern film. Why is it a good idea to have the same guy? Why would DC or whoever is making the film want this?
Why not have Hugh Jackman shave his entire bodyhair and play Catwoman in the next Batman film? WHY NOT EH!
It doesn't seem like a good investment to mutual sides or benefactors and well for the viewing public it's pretty lazy, crocky and might actually bore us to see some guy play two different heroes/anti-heroes from different universes.
Well there's no point crying about it I suppose, it's going to happen and it's not like they picked Tom Cruise to play the same character. The next thing they'll do to try and peeve us off is have the Avengers film have Wolverine in it.

DON'T YOU DARE!!

Galactus : The Man Behind the Helmet

So this is apparently what Galactus looks like without his Purple Head gear off.


He's either
a) earning small change by doing L'oreal adverts
b) is a Sh-iar
c) unable to get acne (cos come on you gotta be sweating wearing that thing all the time)

THEORY OF THE DEADMAN

Looks like I can actually tick at least one band of my list of "Bands I want to see".
Yes I got (cheap) tickets to see Theory of a Deadman at the end of September. Woop woop!!



They better be good!

That bloody Gnome

So last time I was playing Half Life Ep 2 on my old 360 (which suffered the dreaded Red Ring of Annoyance) I was attempting to get the rocketman (gnome in the spaceship) achievement. Now what went wrong that time was when I went to get the banged up car from across the broken down death-trap bridge. I had left Gnomey (such an original nickname) in the safe and capable hands of Alyx and the Vort. Or so I thought....

You see when you get the car and come back around to their side and then open the door to let them out you can't get the gnome as well (not if you thought just leaving it there was safe enough). No because the door you open for the guys is timed. It closes in a matter of seconds, far quicker than you will ever take getting through the door to pick up the most valuable virtual garden ornament in game-dom. I later found out the smart thing to do would be the leave the gnome on a box. Then when the door opesn, use th gravity gun to pull the box (with Gnomey ato) towards you. Alas it was too late for hindsight to kick in.
This time while replaying the Orange Box I thought "To hell with this...I'm going to take the gnome bastard with me to get the car."
And I did and it worked out fine...but then comes the next hurdle Valve decided to throw at us just to see if we could created veins and then pop veins all in the space of a few hours. There is no sure way of keeping the gnome in the car (at least none I've found) and I've tried shoving him EVERYWHERE, even under Alyx's ass. But apparently her rear-end is transparent. So or the entire duration of getting from the start point to the train station where you fight the Helicopter with it's own bombs, you have to become a saint of patience and calmness. Unless you're going in a straight line...you're fecked basically.

So after getting in and out and in and out of the car for ages trying not to die from being riddled with bullets and what-not, getting the gnome in the car for the 100th time and hearing Alyx saying for the 200th time, "Let's go Gordon" I finally got to the point where you can take a break from the gnome sitting.
Yes it was time to play crouch master and disable the big white beam laser canon combine firing things. So I leave Gnomey in the garage and wouldn't you know it I leave him on the ONE PLACE THAT HE WILL VANISH DUE TO HOW THE GAME WORKS.
I left him on the bench and when I came back, the car was where the bench was and Gnomey was gone :( I ransacked that place and no sign, none. After all that. I tried shooting all the resistance people, trying desperately to take my anger out on them and claim vengance but alas the bastards are immune to my own blasts...even grenades up the ass.
So begrudingly I realised I'd no save prior to placing Gnomey down and I got into the car and mowed down as many zombies as I could, then turned around and tried to resistance but once again I forgot about the Freeman Omnipotence.
So now I'm at the end of Ep2, taking on all those Striders (which I remember well being a pain in the balls) because those sticky bombs ain't so sticky and the location of the resupplies is really badly spaced out. Sigh.....I wonder do the Combine have any positions going.

RevanDesigns Reviews and a heck of a lot more.

GO HERE AND BE WOWED....though probably not to the extent I'd wish. e.g a gasp, a fart, a hiccup of joy!

RevanDesigns

Goodbye to Don't Ask Don't Tell

So for those that don't know Don't Ask, Don't tell was a policy introduced and made a federal law in America.

The policy prohibits anyone who "demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because "it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

Bascially if you're gay you better not let anyone know because they don't want gays in the military. I'm sure they're are plenty of closeted people in the military, but when they are 'fleshed' out they are usually given a trial and usually always loose and are court martialed. It's a pretty tight legislation.

Now when Bill Clinton was runnign for office he made a little promise stating that he would see that sexuality would not stop someone from entering the military, but Colin Powell was the guy who steamed the law through and George W Bush continued to support it's enforcement. This thead has so many puns by now...


it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability.
This cracks me up. I'm sure that the taking of lives isn't exactly high on the charts of moraility but if you're a homosexual and taking lives, damn that just effects everyone.
Now to me you'd think that they'd take whoever they could get their hands on to serve in the army, especially given the times.

And if they're that opposed to a homosexual lifestyle, which a lot of US politicans and senators seem to publicly bash and yet participate in homosexual activities, then why don't they let homosexuals into the army, send them to the front lines, like they wished they could do long ago with african americans and that way maybe if they cross their fingers the homosexuals will get shot first.
Because if you're that against, or that interested in whether someone sleeps with a man or woman, that you won't let them serve in your countries army then you've gotta be lacking any sense.

But now to the present. Apparently now under Obama, they are thinking of abolishing the law, so that anyone can join the army regardless of orientation and also can be open about it.

Gigs I would love to go to...but probably won't get a chance

Because the universe deems it so :(

Weezer
They Might Be Giants
Liz Phair
Muse
Theory of a Deadman
Scissor Sisters
Silver Sun
Evanescence

I wouldn't...

Would you? And I'm the biggest fanwhore of KOTOR in the world. Anyone else care to own that title, I shall see you at dawn. Bring a spatula and wear nothing but a dishcloth.

Possibly Definately Pointless Attempt at Webcomic...ing.

Yes I thought I'd dabble and dabble I did. And dribble.

Here's my webcomic, check it out and leave horrid insulting comments. Mmmm.

Never Bug Kreia

Wall-E

There are always a good selection of kids films or kid orientated films throughout the course of the year. And since perhaps Finding Nemo and the second Shrek film, there haven't been as many of these films by Disney/Pixar ect to get overly excited about. Though it seems every child that sees these films are pleased with the end result and seen as this is their genre, it's hard to criticise a film when all that matters is it's main audiences enjoyment.
But while Finding Nemo and Shrek 2 were the most recent films that adults also thoroughly enjoyed and watched off their own steam, it's taken a short while for another high standard animated film to come out that would grip and bedazzle a mixed viewing audeince. Wall-E not only proves that kids films are still exciting, but that the ability to find a even balance for all the family can be executed in a funny, charming and beautiful way.

Before you find out anything about the plot, you have to realise just how breath-taking this film is. Who would of thought that a barren abandoned earth could look pretty and digitally stunning or that a vast repeated scene of outer space could become a great spectacle for us once again.The attention to detail is great and appreciated, with even the most mundane object been carefully structured.

The animation is flawless. Absolutely flawless. Especially on earth and the robots. It looks real. Much of the time it's impossible to tell whether or not it is real. The few slightly-shaky styled shots that appear a few times in the film only makes the animation that much more amazing and realistic. The humans are really good, too, while not realistic in the sense of you seeing it right now in real life, but they do have a realistic feel to them. The thing with the humans, I believe, is that they were purposefully meant to have this slightly rounded, slightly unrealistic feeling.
I believe the reason is to take a satirical look at humans, and what our goals for a future, perfect utopia, is. It questions what we want, and shows you what is a very, very likely outcome of our desires for a 'better' world, showing both positive and negative effects. The animation for the humans, I believe, was made rounded and slightly more cartoonish to emphasize that that is how we will become. Fat, lazy, yet so perfect. At times, especially with that perspective on the humans, they actually do look very real.

The films core is in it's blissful innocence, a balance of perfect multi-layered humour and action that is neither too drab or childlike for parents or secretly harbouring innuendos that some parents might not want their kids to be aware of. The innocence of Wall-E'scourting of Eve and their budding romance is simply beautiful.
The film is about a robot named WALL-E (or 'Waste Allocation Load Lifter, Earth-Class'), who is the only thing left on earth with some sort of emotion. His only companion seems to be an industructable yet somehow cute, cockroach. He longs for company and enriches himself with knick nacks he finds when he is scourging the planet cleaning up the waste. Then one day he meets another robot named EVE, and his adventure really begins.

There is a message in the film about taking care of ourselves and our planet or else we'll end up living in a wasted world and though it's claimed that this may not be too interesting for children, it seems that Pixar have managed to get their point across in a simple and cheerful way without imposing any school like moments. The social commentary in "WALL·E" is sobering because it's never overbearing and most importantly because we see the world through machines, machines who feel more about Earth and life than the humans do.
It is a majestic science fiction epic like we haven't seen in a couple of decades and it is a genuinely touching and never cheap romance. WALL·E pay homages to popular films and figures of the past- Chaplin, Keaton, Tati, the Marx Brothers, "2001: A Space Odyssey" (this one is particularly spectacular), "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" are actually homages and not ripoffs.

From the entertaining shorts shown before the film to the memorable characters, locations, and animation we have come to expect, Pixar films are now event cinema, and they have outdone themselves with "WALL·E". This film is spectacular, majestic, touching, involving, and achingly beautiful. Most importantly, however, it is perfect entertainment. Personally you will be hard pressed to find an animated film or any film that can satisfy you more than "WALL·E in 2008.

5/5

Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts

It was only a matter of time before Rare brought its cutesy platforming series Banjo-Kazooie to the Xbox 360. At some point in the development process, however, a wise person realized the world might not need yet another cutesy platformer, so instead we've got Nuts & Bolts, an irreverent, self-aware, open-world, vehicle-based, Tinkertoy-workshop action game. That's a lot of adjectives, but I'd happily swap them all out for a single one like "stupendous." If you'd told me I would ever like a Banjo-Kazooie game so much, I would have called you crazy. But for numerous reasons I sincerely love this one. Before I ever got into the unique mechanics that make this such a fun game to play, Nuts & Bolts grabbed me with its bold, batty, referential, self-deprecating sense of humor. The game pokes fun at itself and the Banjo series constantly, with references to the "lame" storylines in the original Banjo games and the fact "that italian gentleman" has sold far more games in his time. The lampoon job extends to the entire video game industry, with constant jabs at Rare and its other franchises, the Xbox 360, the Frag Dolls, and a lot more. Every cutscene, exchange of dialogue, and mission description is sharper, wittier, and funnier than it has any business being in a Banjo-Kazooie game, of all things. The game can be downright hilarious. This sort of fourth-wall-busting metahumor is personified in the game's excellent new character the Lord of Games, a self-important set of hovering purple robes with a Pong-emblazoned TV for a face who claims to be the creator of every single video game ever made. At the beginning, Banjo and Kazooie are hanging out on Spiral Mountain, fat and out of work since their last outing eight years ago. Along comes the severed head of Gruntilda, the series' witchy antagonist, looking for trouble again. But before they can square off to see who can collect the most pointless items the fastest, in comes the Lord of Games to restore Banjo's fitness, give Grunty a new mechanical body, and send them off to a hub world called Showdown Town in a race to...collect a different kind of pointless item. The game gleefully wears this sort of game-design irony right on its sleeve. L.O.G. creates a handful of different-themed game worlds you can enter from Showdown Town, and in each of them you'll find the same roster of Banjo characters like Mumbo, Humba Wumba, Bottles, and Klungo waiting to dispense missions that each yield a jiggy (a jigsaw puzzle piece that's the Banjo equivalent of Mario's stars). This isn't your typical assortment of generic ice worlds and desert worlds, though. There's LOGBox 720, where you explore the innards of a gigantic "next-next gen" game console. The Jiggoseum is a sort of Olympic stadium full of athletic challenges. Banjoland is like a comical museum of past Banjo games and historical event all smashed into one small space. The Terrarium of Terror is a vaguely sci-fi-themed glass enclosure full of aliens and gigantic fungi. Plenty more opportunities for jokes go along with each of these worlds, and the game smartly makes the most of them. The first time you enter a world, you get a TV sitcom-style intro with all the Banjo characters playing different comical roles (Humba Wumba is "The Long-Suffering Wife" in the "Green Acres" knock-off) and expertly produced theme music that instantly calls to mind the sort of show that's being aped. Funny writing and varied game worlds are all well and good, but it's the vehicle-building feature that really sets Banjo apart from other character-driven action games. Make no mistake: This is not a platformer, certainly not in the style of the old Banjo games. You can run and jump, climb on ledges, and walk tightropes--and there's a good number of collectible notes to jump around collecting--but almost all of your traveling and mission action will be done in vehicles. The workshop is where you can put together all kinds of wild-looking, multifunctional vehicles from generic parts you can find and purchase as you go. The vehicle-building is really easy to get a handle on, and you can intuit how a vehicle is going to perform just based on the parts you add. If you slap a jet engine and a pair of wings on your racing car, you can expect it to fly. An airplane with a couple of inflatable floaters attached to each side can double as a boat. There are gadgets and doohickeys for pushing, carrying, sucking, blowing, and a myriad of other functions. You can get egg shooters, laser guns, homing missiles, energy shields, and a lot more to extend the functionality of your car-plane-boat.You can save these blueprints and trade them on Xbox Live with your friends, too. Initially, I got frustrated with some of the game's vehicle controls, and I suspect most other people will too. But it's not that they're bad; it's simply a consequence of different parts being used together inappropriately. Too many engines on a light car with basic tires will make you fishtail and spin out constantly. But if you add more weight and replace those tires with the high-grip variety, the driving will get way more manageable. So it's more about getting a feel for how the vehicle systems work together. Don't think the vehicle-building is a throwaway feature only die-hard gearheads will get into. It's as integral to the mission-based action as it is easy to get into. There's an enormous variety of mission types available here, all designed around the things you can accomplish with a properly designed vehicle. Various missions will task you with moving cargo, getting into different kinds of combat, running checkpoint races (on land, sea, and/or air), playing soccer, demolishing an igloo, watering some giant seeds, winning a vehicular long-jump contest, knocking down dominoes, running an aerial taxi service... The point is, there's a huge number of different mission objectives. All that variety is due to how flexible and extensive the vehicle options are. I can't count the number of times I had a problem beating a particular mission, only to go back into the editor and build a better vehicle more suited to the current task that made finishing the mission much easier. That even happened with the game's final boss, which I thought was unreasonably difficult after I failed to beat it over and over. Half an hour in the workshop and I emerged with a new bruiser of a combat vehicle that I used to trounce the boss on my first try. You feel like your ingenuity is really being rewarded when you dig deep into the vehicle possibilities and find more effective (and in some cases, entirely new) ways to approach a particular task. In fact, you'll have to make use of the workshop, as the missions get harder and harder and you'll soon hit a wall you simply can't pass with the stock vehicles. If you truly don't want to build your own, you can purchase blueprints for new pre-made vehicles that become available as you get more and more jiggies. But that would be missing out on half of the fun. I personally enjoyed starting with the stock blueprints and tweaking different vehicles out to meet my current needs. The game makes it easy to replay finished missions from a simple menu. Actually, the game makes it easy to access everything. You can change vehicles or enter the workshop at any time from the pause menu. If you ever get separated from your vehicle, you can hold down a button to warp right back to it. These shortcuts are just, well, pleasant. The aim for this game would of been to not only be great fun for players and especially kids, but also for those who were lucky enough to experience the original B&K game on the N64. A little bit of nostalgia now&again i never a bad thing. Funny, inventive, gorgeous--and cheap. Microsoft decided to charge a mere $40 for Nuts & Bolts, but I got more laughs and more satisfying gameplay out of this one than most of the $60 games I've played this year. And even after spending nearly 20 hours amassing enough jiggies to take down the final boss, I'm compelled to get back in there and keep playing new missions, unlocking new vehicle parts, and exploring more of the game's beautiful world. I had no affection whatsoever for the Banjo-Kazooie franchise or characters going into Nuts & Bolts, but its list of great qualities quietly won me over to make it one of my favorite Xbox 360 games of the year.
5/5

SpiderMan:Web of Shadows

*Beware there are some spoilers in this*

You know I've always wondered where game developers went wrong when it came to superhero games. I mean take Superman. He's got the basic traits of your uber powerful hero, super strength, flight, speed, laser eyes ect. So you'd think a game with him would just be immensely fun and just fantastic. And yet every Superman related game that has come out on any console/format has let down gaming fans and comic book fans. Can you honestly name a Superman game that was bordering on perfection in terms of the formula and the resulting gameplay. Superman Returns was the best I've seen, but it was still prety flawed and repetitive.

Now Spiderman is a different dude altogether, his means of travel, his means of enemy attacks are completely different and from a logical mapped layout for a game you'd think that a Spiderman game would be more difficult to successfully create.

Well screw you logic of the universe and your minions of physics. Cos Spiderman is the only shining example of how to make a good, loyal comic book related game. Primarily I'm thinking of Ultimate Spiderman, Friend or Foe and of course the critically acclaimed Spiderman 2. Spiderman 3 made me cry, let's not talk about it right now.

But while Spiderman 2 topped all comic book games and was favoured as the best Spiderman game by many a reviewer,player and critic, a new Spidey game has come out and I'm going to say it and I don't care what toxic fruit you hurl at me - Web of Shadows is the best damn Spiderman game yet!

Whatever niggles and naggles and other words that sound like lord of the rings creatures, there were in Spidey 2 have been erased, de-bugged and refreshed in this game. You've got all of Manhattan to web-sling around. You can go by foot or by air, though there are times when dropping to the ground and loosing track will result in your mission failing.

Remember in Spiderman 1 when you couldn't go to the streets because the lazy creators couldn't be bothered enhancing the map or graphics. Remember when Spiderman would die from touching the streets of Manhattan? Oh what fun.

If you do fail at a certain point during a mission, it doesn't make you restart from the very beginning of that said quest, no no, the boys at Activision realised that would anger players.
If you are chasing a bad-guy, let's say it's Electro and there's 4 parts to this. You fight him on a rooftop, then a railway, then the river and then a bridge - well if you loose track of him at the river you're not sent back to the rooftop, you just carry on from the river again.
Yes that was a rather long winded analogy, but it goes to show that aside from the genre of the game, a general gaming faux pas has been wiped out altogether. Nothing worse than getting so close to completing a task only to have some stupid interruption ruin it for you and send you back to the beginning.

Depending on what console you got the game on you'll have a different roster of Marvel guest stars. There are some though that will appear in all formats, like the Black Cat, deliciously voiced and acted by Tricia Helfer of awesome Battlestar Galactica fame.

*spoiler alert-avert thine eyes*

Symbiote Black Cat is freaky as hell though.The hair...lord.

I don't really like this Marvel idea of having different selections for different consoles. They've done it with the atrocious X-Men 3 and also with the groovy Ultimate Alliance games. Don't. I played he Xbox version and found out Aunt May appears in another. Do you know how cool it would of been to see her go all symbiotic on Spidey!
The guest stars not only feature as geeky eye candy, but can also be called upon, when your special metre bar is full, to aid you. To be honest I was that immersed in battles that I rarely called upon them, but when you do it's pretty cool and they do fight off the baddies. Black Cat is especially useful.

The main feature of this game is the choice system, which isn't a constant re-occurence but is split evenly across the game. Depending on your choice of Black or Red, I'm sure you can guess which is good and which is bad, you'll be treated to a different cut-scene and also a different ending. Also such actions will unlock different achievements.

You'll get some 'escort' missions, which thankfully don't last too long. I hate escort missions, but the way it was done in this game made me not growl with anger...for once.

The attacks are plentiful and enhanced greatly by the real-time instant transformation between black and red. You could web zip a baddie and have changed between costuumes 3 times before your foot is shoved down there throat.

You are given tutorials in certain moves by other heroes and the ones thought to you by Luke Cage are REALLY helpful, if not annoying to get use to at the very start. Lets just say without web-zip linining enemies and being able to bounce between, as well as using the Black Suits tendril attacks, this game would be extremely difficult and annoying to many players. The B button is your friend gamers. There is one boss battle, where you have no choice but to use such attacks as it's in the air and you're too far up to web-sling onto anything. You gain EXP points for every enemy vanquished in this game and can upgrade your moves. There's a great array to choose from and as you progress some attacks are just that damn cool you'll never grow tired of using them. The speed and fluid movement of some attacks is just amazing and breath-taking and completely makes this game a big fat juicy winner. I can't praise this game enough. Ok I could but you'll all poor banana juice on your screens and then fall asleep and have sticky banana juice faces.

5/5

The World Ends With You

It’s all too easy for RPG fans to only talk about Final Fantasy, especially when talking about Square Enix, that franchise’s creators. However, Final Fantasy isn’t the only title in the company’s catalogue, and people often forget that not only did they create the daddy of the genre, they also arguably spawned said genre as well.

And so rather than rehash yet another FF game for the DS, Square Enix has moved into its fighting stance and shouted ‘Bring It’, and brought it they have with the immaculate The World Ends With You, the first new IP from the JRPG house in many years.

The World Ends With You tells the story of Neku, a fairly stereotypical RPG protagonist to begin with. Neku is grumpy, dislikes people and is only concerned with himself. That is however, until he finds himself in a very strange version of Shibuya, a district of modern day , the games setting. Attacked by strange creatures called the Noise, Neku is forced to make a pact with various people as he learns the truth of the Noise, his new found friends and the alternate Shibuya.

While to begin with the tale is fairly generic, as the character of the game starts to seep into every pore it becomes a fantastically epic tale. Yes, Neku can be an annoyingly selfish git to begin with, his inner thoughts and feelings, and his changing sensibilities, really give the character weight.

Apart from the story, The World Ends With You is a technical feat on the DS. Its use of voice, music and special effects is outstanding, proving that while its 3D capabilities maybe lacking, you can make a brilliant 2D game on the system, and a brilliant game this is.

This brilliance permeates down to the core battle system, which most RPG’s live and die by, luckily though The World Ends With You’s system is innovative and fresh, using all of the DS’s capabilities. When you enter battle (done by using a scanning mechanic to see what noise are in the area and then tapping the icons), the screen changes as normal for an RPG, but since Neku is always accompanied by a companion, they also appear on the top screen with Neku on the bottom.

Neku uses a series of ‘Pin’s’, which give him various powers, ranging from slashing an enemy to firing a spread of energy bullets to encasing himself in protective shields, and they are all activated by various actions on the touch screen, such as pressing the stylus on Neku, slashing across him, tapping an empty space or enemy or drawing circles. They are even some that require you to blow or shout into the microphone to send out shockwaves.

Neku’s partner is controlled using the D-pad, and by tapping various directions and following an on screen series of Icons, the partner attacks the same targets that appear on both screens. If the partner hits the right icons in the right way, they earn Fusion stars, which allow both characters to unleash a devastating combined attack.

After each battle, the Pin’s used earn PP (pin points) which slowly level up the pins and may possibly let them evolve to more powerful versions. You also, rather ingeniously, earn PP by not playing the game, as the pins get better when rested. This encourages breaks and rewards you even though you haven’t played, and while you cant evolve your pins totally by just leaving it a few days, is a neat touch.

Another interesting mechanic is the light puck, a green ball of light that passes between the characters as they score successful attacks. This puck increases with each pass, and the longer you keep it in play and keep it being passed, the more powerful your attacks become, encouraging thoughtful and slightly rhythmic game play.

Each area of Shibuya also has affinities to the various brands in the game, and if an area likes one brand it can up to double your attack power, but if it doesn’t like another brand your attack can be halved. This can be solved by fighting battles wearing clothes (the games equivalent of armour) and pins of the lower brand, thereby increasing the area affinity with that brand.

In all The World Ends With You is a superb RPG, and one of the finest new IP’s on the DS. It is a technical marvel and while it does have the odd slight issue such as it can be hard to remember where to go on missions and what parts of Shibuya are where, this can be over looked easily. A truly brilliant title.
4.5/5

Gaming:What we know about Bioshock 2:Sea of Dreams

- You play as a Big Daddy, not just any Big Daddy, but the first EVER.

- This Big Daddy thing is not just for appearance, you have the actual stats of one. Regular splicers are basically ticks, Big Daddies are less challenging, and Little Sisters trust you more.

- With Little Sisters, you have two options; harvest or accompany (or something similar to that). Harvesting is harvesting, not much to say there. If you accompany a Little Sister, you will follow her, as she walks through Rapture. When she finds a corpse to extract ADAM from, a fuckton of splicers will come toward her, You will have to protect her from them. This is harder than it sounds, apparently. I assume that after doing this, you receive ADAM from her. Also, Little Sisters look older now, for moral reasons.

- The Big Sister, oh god, is supposed to be the villain of the game for sure. You if steal too many Little Sisters, she will notice. At first she will not care, but if you do this too many times, then will try to stop her. You cannot run; she knows the architecture of Rapture far more than you do. She is not like Ryan; detached from the ecosystem as king, she lives in Raptures and bathes in it, knowing every crevice of it. When she wants to pursue you; you're fucked. You have just enough time to set the battle arena to your advantage, then the Big Sister will arrive, usually by crawling off of walls or by jumping. Every encounter with the Big Sister will be a desperate, and you will just barely survive before she runs off. She has a long needle on her left arm, which allows extracted ADAM to merge with her bloodstream. In other words, she has an INSANE amount of ADAM. She can jump across rooms in one leap and throw furniture with the force of missiles. In other words, she is to a Big Daddy what Big Daddies were to Jack. Be afraid.

- Plasmids apparently have more depth. When you get the incinerate plasmid to level 2 for instance, you can charge it up to create a bigger flame. When you get it to it's final level, you essentially have a flamethrower.

- The plot so for; Rapture was basically fucked since Jack killed the leader, Ryan, and the ADAM supplier, Fontiane. People were killing families to get ADAM. Big Daddies were wandering with no one to protect. But the Big Sister returned with Little Sisters; and the Adam supply circulated again. That's about it so far.

- Rivet Gun and Drill; confirmed.

- Full body awareness exists now; and the current splicers are SERIOUSLY fucked up.

- Tenebuam; confirmed. Only quote that she said that was posted in the magazine; "She's taking little girls and turning them into these..... things like her. All of this, it is my fault."

Fable 2 DLC Update

I just downloaded and completed the new Downloadable Content called See the Future. It is the second expansion from Xbox Live, the first being Knothole Island.

See the Future contains 2 new quests and 3 new areas to visit. Murgo returns. He's the swindler who sold you the music box in the beginning of the game. He's got some cursed items he wants you to exercise. You have to buy them, of course, at 5 gold a pop (not such a big deal for my 6 mil character... kinda bad for a beginning character).

The first is a snowglobe. When you use it, you are transported to a colorless village. You encounter three kinds of shadows... Blue, Yellow and Red. This is the first inkling to their weakness. Blues can only be killed by melee attacks. And they are pretty tough fighters themselves. Yellows can only be harmed by ranged attacks, and unlike bandits, they have good aim at long distances. Of course, Reds can only be harmbed by Will effects, and are bastard will users themselves. They use, form what I can gather, at least level 3 spells, so don't go into this mission as a fresh starting character.

Once you defeat the big dungeon that all this evil is spawned from, along with accompanying Shadow Cultists as main villains (who are easy to defeat and really really weak... weaker than the shadows) color is restored to the village. Everybody's happy, and all the people pass on to the afterlife peacefully (appearantly, the people in the snowglobe were only spirits).

The second item you get from Murgo is the Cursed Skull. It takes you to a swampy area where you are aiding a knight who was trapped by a necromancer. After the first part of the game, you soon figure that the knight isn't that nice of a guy, as he relishes in the little bits of power you bring him (power = wisps, or souls of the dead). This level is kind of a puzzle game. You need 3 different costumes: a hollow man, balverine, and hobbe- to figure some of it out. There are statues that only respond to certain creatures and won't open gates... then the wisps only follow the undead, so you need to wear the hollow man, etc. It introduces a new monster, the Poison Balverine... which sucks donkey nuts. They're as tough as the matriarch balverines, and they do extra, ongoing damage with poison fangs and claws. My suggestion: slow time, then raise undead minions. The Balvs will be distracted by the undead and you can unleash spells or ranged attacks against them.

That's it for the quests in this set, but you get two more items from Murgo. The next is an exact replica of the Tattered Spire. When you use it you return to the Spire and see Theresa. She reveals that the Spire also granted her a wish: to not see glimpses of the future, but to see all possible outcomes of the future. She takes your hand and drones on about a Queen, who's shoulders are heavy with rule (my character, who was a dude, drank the sex change potion... I wasn't paying attention as I was on the phone while I did it and suddenly he was a she... my point is, she would tell the same story, only of a king) and about the real future, which was the Queen's child... anyway, nothing really to do here. but you get a new outfit: Royal clothing, including a crown. Sad part is, you can't dye any of it different colors.

Again, you return to Murgo and he gives you a 4th, and final object (the spire, BTW, disappears from your inventory when you use it): the Coliseum. It's basically like the Crucible, except it's one massive open area (instead of several "battle rooms") and you just take on wave after wave of monsters. It's not really a quest, just a new thing to do. For every point you earn in the coliseum games, you get 1 gold, so it's a quick cash generator if you're any good. You can hit flit switches or kick chickens to earn point multipliers. 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place (all determined by how many points you earn) give random items for prizes. The Ultimate prize (over 10,000 points... relatively easy as I did it on the first try) gives you the Royal Scepter. It's a magic weapon with 4 augment slots and it matches the Royal outfit.

Okay, I'm going to talk about all the stuff you can do. See the Future offers several new acheivements. ALSO: it gives you access to the Completonist Acheivement that is standard to the game. Originally, Completionist required you go to Xbox live, download the Pub Games arcade game, play online, earn points, and get an expression (Hat, Headband, Mustache Game) and a dog trick (backflip). That was the only way to get them. Otherwise, you couldn't get all expressions and dog tricks in normal gameplay, and it wasn't guaranteed to give you them playing the pub games. you had to be a lucky gambler and win lots of money.

Murgo offers 4 new potions. They are dog elixers that actually change your dog's breed. You can choose from the Husky, Bloodhound, Dalmation, and Mutt breeds (your dog is already a mutt... that potion just changes him back to original).

The new acheivements:
You get one for opening all the demon doors
One for having sex more than 25 times in game
performing 25 groin shots with a ranged weapon
Collecting all of Murgo's statues
Collecting the 10 new dyes (the final dye is a bitch to get... I still don't have it)
Several Coliseum acheivements, including kicking 5 chickens while wearing the chicken suit, getting a x10 multiplyer, defeating the necromancer in the coliseum.

Overall, I like it. You don't get much in the way of "stuff" but it has a few new items, and loads of new acheivements to strive for, as well as the coliseum, which, as I said earlier, is an easy way to earn cash. Easier than working even.

Something just came to mind: the spire wasn't completed until after you went there. I'm almost betting you can't get this item from Murgo until after you return from the Spire, or possibly even after you defeat Lucien. So, nevermind the Quick cash scheme with the Coliseum.

I never gave a proper review of Knothole Island. Here it is:

Knothole Island is suffering from 2 things: poor weather and incompetent chieftans. When you first arrive, it's in perpetual winter. You go on a mini quest and find the Sun totem to bring the winter to an end and start a blazing, dry summer. This is fine for a while, but then it's too hot, and too dry. So, you go find the storm totem, to bring the rains. this is fine for a bit, until supplies begin coming in damaged from the rains. So, you go for the Snow Totem. Then, you have the option of giving the weather power to the people, or to the incompetent chieftan.

They're basic dungeon delve quests. There are some puzzles and lots of monsters, but it's all very simple. Once you have all three, you can go to the totem Shrine and change the weather to whatever suits you. It's assumed that while you're away the people change the weather to whatever they need... as no one complains.

It offers lots and lots of new equipment, several of the items are labeled "only found on knothole island." Most importantly is the Augment Remover. You no longer destroy augments when you take them out of weapons. Lots of weapons with 4 augment slots. New augments. New potions (fat, thin, tall, short, and scar removing potions). A new legendary weapon: it's a staff. It looks awesome when you combine with the tophat and cuffed overcoat in later gameplay. There's a strange item shop. Instead of buying items, you have to trade. and it tells you what to trade for. In it you get the Black Wheel Gang outfit, including Greaser Wig, another new outfit. Several new weapons including an axe that looks like a guitar, a holy sword, an evil sword, and "Hal's Rifle." In the special collector's edition of the game, you get a Master Chief outfit and light sword from Halo. It's the equipment of some time travelling, interdimensionl travellor nicknamed "Hal." the rifle is the regular machine gun from Halo. It doesn't unload a clip terribly fast, but it does hold 24 rounds before you need to reload and has an augment slot.

Knothole Island also offers 3 new acheivements:
Bibliophile. You collect all of the volumes of the Knothole Islnd chronicles scattered around the island (there are 10 total).
Collector. You get all the special items from that crazy shop.
Meteorologist. you get Knothole Island's weather under controll.

Overall, it's short, but it has a lot of cool things to get, and some new buildings to purchase to add to your ever growing empire.

Fable 2 contains 1,000 gamer points worht of acheivements. Knothole Island offers 3 new achievements worth 100 points, and See the Future offers 13 new acheivements worth 250 points.

Overall, it's short, but it's fun.

Gaming:DBZ: Taiketsu!!

Have you ever gotten a game simply because it was part of a franchise you loved/obsessed over? Have you ever been let-down by that purchase and wondered how they could make something so dreary and slightly darken the little spot in your heart you had reserved for your favourite show?
Well if so and the said show is Dragonball Z, chances are you're reeling from the cack-fest that is............. DBZ: Taiketsu!! Well what can I say about this game, that people who have played it don't already know. It's dreadful. The movement of your character is similiar to that of a rock trying to make love to another rock, but without actually putting any effort into it.
The special moves are so awkward to pull off, that you may as well keep bashing the kick and punch button until the ultimately unsatisfying winner sign pops up.

The selection of characters is same old, same old and the only thing I can think of that borders on 'cool' in this game is that there's some costume colour changes...I like playing in different colours

The animation is ok I suppose for a handheld, but because of the craptastical movement, it just doesn't do anything to impress.
This game is not worth your time or money and if you did purchase it...well you're either doomed to live a life of shame or have spent money on a game that can be completed in half and hour.
If you see this game in a shop or your friend has it... then just walk away and never look back
0/5

Gaming: FaceWound

This is a side-scrolling zombie shooting game. The graphics are impressive too but I'm not sure where exactly the trouble comes i for your PC and it's ability to be able to run it. There's nothing too fierce here that would cause your computer to explode IMO.

The music that comes up when you open the game is wicked, it'd been nice if they could of followed it through into the gameplay, but I suppose it was just developer intro song. The actual audio in this game is impressive for what comes across as essentially a superior flash game. I say this because if it's free to download from the source site then I wonder if they gamers are making any money from it.

Aiming in this game is very easy to do and the shooting of zombiefied citizens is equally easy to execute. Plus if you get the zombies 2 times in the head they're down. Nice one. Some other variations of zombies take a few more shots. Oh and birds are bitch.
You can collect plutonium from kills that...well I'm not sure what it does. I never actually saw any ammo clips get picked up so I'm assuming that ammo is restored due to pretty hard to see clips or that the plutonium gives you ammo.

Now I'm not sure if it was due to my own control set up, but when your character dies, a strange matrix of abnormal frames appear.
I'm not sure if this is on purpose or if it's a glitch. Cos it buggers up your game.
Example:
I had a checkpoint and died later on when a horde of demonic giant ass bugs bombarded me. But no matter what key I pressed it wouldn't bring me back to the checkpoint or load it. The only button that worked was the ESC key and from there I had to start again. Load didn't contain the checkpoint.
Now I have to say your character is pretty funny looking. Maye it's the maddened baring of teeth or maybe it's because I'm not sure what ethnicity he's suppose to be. Is he suppose to be black? I'm really not too sure and I suppose it doesn't matter. He's kicking ass all alone!

The zombies range from haggered repeated citizens, crazy birds that are annoying, acid spewing yellow spurge creatures, an alien eye bugling bublle thing and a top hat wearing zombie on stilts??
If you're after something fun, quick and free for your PC I'd advise you to try this. It ticks all of the above. I'm still playing it now.

5/5

Gaming: Alone in the Dark Neutral Perspective

Ok I'm not going to delve into every deep and miniature detail about this game. I just played it for the heck of it, it looked cool and I needed a new game cos I'd play the hell out of the ones I had.

Driving Mechanics Now just to get it out and over with, the driving in this game is greatly over exaggerated in that it is being blasted as the worst driving sequence in a non driving genre game. The driving is not that bad, in fact it's pretty damn cool. Sure you might not be able to master the steering and ungentle feel on your very first go, but it really isn't rocket science. You're in a car on the run from some big ass monster; you’re not going to worry about traffic laws and speeding tickets. In this game it's the same exact deal. You just drive like crazy until you reach your destination in one piece. You need to maintain a good distance between you and the creature chasing after you as it will catch up with you. As it follows you it ruptures the ground and the city apart leaving a concrete mesh of chaos in its wake. And you do not want to be part of that party mix. That car turns in the direction you want it to turn, it go fast, it slows down and it's pretty durable. What more do you want from a car when you're main thought is "Oh crap I need to get to the other side of the city sharpish!” Oh and the cinematic during the driving sequence are quire spectacular and make me wonder if most of the money really was used on these movie moments more than any other aspect of the game.

Blinking Ok so I heard that one of the things that bug people about this game is the constant adjustment of your characters vision and focusing and the requirement of BLINKAGE. First of all the word constant has no real place in that summary, because it does not occur that often. At the start of the game you’re required to blink a few times to regain a clear vision, but considering that you just rampaged through a race to the finish line or die horror scene and have awoken from unconsciousness, it’s perfectly acceptable that you need to blink a few times. It doesn’t happen that often and most of the time I forgot that it was an action at all.

Fire Mechanics Ok so you can pick objects up and set them ablaze and then use them to set enemies on fire or the increase damage attacking them. So you go to pick up a chair and you see a fire. Oh cool toasty. You walk over to the fire with your new found wooden friend/brain bashing sidekick and try to set it alight. Now one of 3 things can happen and there’s no guarantee as to which will occur each time you want to do this. 1) You will successfully light the object on fire and wahay it’s off to make zombie marshmallows 2) The thing won’t light. It just will not catch fire; you keep trying different angles and approaches and finally give up. You might come back to it in a minute and it’ll work or find a new blaze or object. 3) You burn alive trying to set a chair on fire cos it won’t work and you keep walking into the damn flames. Now the main problem with this arises when you’re enemy is there and wondering why you’re taking such a long time when they’ve made the intentions clear, that they want to kill you dead. You’re back is to them as you fight with the flames of nothingness and the enemies are attacking you and causing you damage. You get hurt and you could die, just like in real life. The only thing about this scenario that wouldn’t happen in real life is the fire not working. Unless it’s one of those crappy video fires. Why do people buy those?? Which brings me to….

Injuries So yeah you can patch yourself up and gain realistic period wounds. No this is not a menstrual reference. You don’t just take a magic elixir and bam you are fully healed, pick up $200 and continue to the next door. You have to medical apply treatment and bandaging to your wounds that take time to heal. That’s quite a cool and realistic application, though it would have worked better if you could heal your minor injuries yourself and get instant health replenishing items around the levels. Now what is the problem with this? Well see my above reason for when trying to light something with imagination embers and being in the same room as the undead is not cool.

POV Transitions This is a pain in the ass. But a pain in the ass that sometimes flutters away and just leaves you with a slight tingly numb feeling in your buttocks. See when you’re shooting in third person it’s difficult to see around you and the quick change to 3rd could be a lot smoother. Plus picking up items is a chore that shouldn’t exist. It’s best to pick up items in shelves ect in 1st person and to pick up objects on the ground in 3rd because you can never see objects lying about clearly in 1st. It reminds me of the map in that retro Friday the 13th game. Where you are now and where the map says you are completely messed up and unhelpful. Where you see an item in 3rd and where you see in it 1st makes the mind boggle and retired after a while.

Melee Hit Detection It’s dodgy. Really dodgy. I swung a bat at an enemy and it took about 3 attempts before it seems to land and cause damage. Sometimes there’s a stall in the melee strikes. When I tell you to hit you better hit you son of a…

Previously on Alone in the Dark… Ok I found this to be quite a cool feature and it made it seem like you were in a TV role, specifically it made you feel like you were in 24.When it first comes on you might think it’s a bit cheesy, it kind of is truth be told but it really is a nice added feature that adds to the episodic feel of the game.

Skipping scenes/levels People complain that if you advertise that skipping levels is a cool feature in the game then the level design must be rubbish and not worth playing through. I think they should of kept it off the summary of the case, but that isn’t what the makers are trying to say. I think they just crammed so much into this they quite think about how to best market it. So they let it slip and boasted about a feature that would seem to lessen the value of the storyline and game play. But why should they care if people skip the stories. Careful now, I’m making sense here. If you made a game with this feature and have been involved in other games before would you care that everyone that had bought it skipped chapters out of laziness or giddy curiosity? I don’t think so and why? BECAUSE THEY BOUGHT IT. Key part of the sentence. The purchased the game, you’ve already made your money so who cares if they jam the disc into a toaster and then try and play it on a DS. Yeah if I were a game designed I’d rather people appreciate the hard work that went into the different areas of the game but these guys wanted to create something cinematic and it is that. So they’ve ticked that of the box and they’ve gotten big bucks for it. I don’t think they really care if you bought the game just to pretend you’re a protagonists in an altered episode of 24 with demonic housewives running amok in New York.

Loving Annabelle

Isn't is great when you get a film about something some people still consider taboo and it's not just there for the titillation but for the purpose of telling a story about love and heartbreak and bloody conniving nuns?!

I sure do.

Loving Annabelle is a film directed by Katherine Brookes, who's primary list of other jobs includes directing the Simple Life (ouch) and the the Osbournes (brave woman). It stars Erin Kelly, who plays Annabelle a senators bad-girl daughter, who looks a lot like other women of that age I’ve seen either from tv or in real life. It also has the very soft spoken Diane Gaidry who plays a well meaning cool kind hearted teacher, Miss Bradley, at the All Girls Nunnery School for Shenanigans.

Annabelle has been sent to boarding school by her father in order to try and calm down her wicked ways. She doesn’t seem that wicked in the film though, she seems pretty cool, in a non “hey man what’s up…get outta face way”. She instantly befriends her roommates, that include that JAW OF DOOM Cat, Kristen and cute porcupine lover Collins. The school is run by Mother Immaculata, who not only sports a stern chilling expression when she is displeased but also must suffering from headaches due to her hair being tied so damn tightly.

Mother Immaculata is also Miss Bradley’s aunt and it is implied during the course of the film, well at least twice that Mother Immaculata may be harboring some ‘sinful’ tendencies herself, made all the more dirty by the fact that they are for her niece. Now this may of come across as just a play for the viewers to make up their minds, but I don’t know of anyone that has seen the scene of Mother Immaculately Hypocritical sitting on a couch with a glass of bourbon in one hand and her awkwardly uncomfortable nieces soft locks in the other, being fondled by her bony digits and creepy eyes and not thought “damn she’s being a wee bit indecent with her niece”.

So anyway on with the film, sorry about that little meander. Annabelle and Miss Bradley form a connection, that involves poetry, their lost of their lovers from the past and classroom eye romance. The girls that Annabelle live with find it interesting that she’s a lesbian, but never really bring it up too often, I presume because it’s not that big a deal. Of course there’s one of them that finds it useful as a nerve to poke whenever Annabelle and Miss Bradley are caught making googly eyes. Yes JAW OF DOOM catches on to their eyeball loving and she also takes a fancy to Annabelle, attacking her in a pool and giving her the kiss of life even though they’re both not under the water. Annabelle says no and JAW OF DOOM, splashes her with water, Annabelle melts to death and the film ends.

Nah…. JAW OF DOOM leaves in a huff and from then on ups the Bradley agitating taunts and then finally in an ultimate act of betrayal ends up being the reason that Annabelle and her new found sweetheart loose each other.

See all the while I was talking about odd aunts and women with impressively scary jaws, Annabelle and Bradley do end up giving into their feelings, well Bradley does anyway. She is hesitant at first due to the fact that she lost her previous lover and that she’s currently in a relationship with a man who she is not happy with.

They spend a night together and are intruded upon the next morning while waking up by Mother Immaculata and are caught in the act (of clothes-putting-on). The police are called and Miss Bradley is taken away. Well all want to see an extra scene after the credits where either the two lovers are reunited or JAW OF DOOM and Mother Immaculata are tarred and feathered, but unfortunately we see neither.

This is a story about love, forbidden and passionate and how for some it's all worth it. The fact that I haven’t gone into detail aboutlove scenes, is testament to the fact that not all movies about sch a topic out there are made just to show a meaningless written piece of titilation. People find love and people loose it. It happens regardless of your gender or the gender of the person you fall for and it also happens whether you are young or old.
5/5

Anime: Get Backers

Basic Summary- The Get Backers, is an anime show that has a lot to offer. The Get Backers story revolves around two main characters. Ban Mido and Ginji Amano are our heroes who call themselves the Get Backers. Their motto is “There’s nothing we can’t Get Back!” Basically, they are hired to retrieve items that are priceless for money. However, these jobs aren’t easy to complete. Many obstacles and enemies stand in the way of our heroes in order to complete their missions. However, they claim they have a success rate of 100%, but they never make the money they set out for. This is one part of the story. The storyline goes much deeper when Ginji’s old past comes back into his life during one of his recovery jobs. This is where the story really gets going, as Ginji’s past is involved with a place called the Limitless Fortress. A place ruled by the so call “God” of the Limitless Fortress. The place itself can alter reality to the point that it becomes real. Ginji was raised in this horrible place, however, as he grows he becomes a figure head so to say. His title is the Lightning Emperor, in which at that time he ruled the bottom levels of the fortress along with his loyal gang members called the Volts. Together they made sure that peace was held at that level in the fortress and gave hope to the people of this place. However, Ginji leaves his friends behind and joins up with Ban to become a Get Backer, in order to help people outside of the Limitless Fortress. This is how the story really begins and it‘s more to it, but I can‘t spoil everything. Characters- The characters are well develop considering it is a short anime with only 49 episodes. However, it has good character development. They give a sufficient amount of details to each characters background for the most part, so you can have some sense from where they came from and how do they play a part of the storyline. I like when every character is involved in the storyline. Each character is equally important in their own way and contribute as a whole in this anime and in the storyline. Each character plays their part. The attitudes that the characters display is very fun to watch and see as well. Each character also performs techniques that may wow you, or techniques that you may have never seen ever in your life. I'm surprised in how detail the techniques were. The creator of this series really put time and effort into the moves. Technique to watch out for, Ban’s Jagon eye, once you lock eyes with Ban, he can create series of illusions for a whole minute that seems like an eternity. Characters to look forward to that I think you may enjoy or like, are Ban Mido, Ginji Amano, Kyoji Kagami, Masaki Kurusu, Mukebex, Takuma Foduo, and of course my avatar, Kurudo Akabane AKA, Dr. Jackel. Music and Sounds- The characters voice acting are on point. There’s no voice here that annoyed me. The dialogue was quite clever and well done. The background music is great. The themes really make the scenes better. The soundtrack is a must download in my opinion. The openings and ending themes are also great. Overall the creator of the series did a good job on this aspect. Negatives- Although I enjoyed this anime, it has it flaws. Season one was the best. Episodes 1-25 were great and it followed the storyline from the Manga. However, episodes 26-49 are good, but a little different from the Manga. Season two tends to give some filler episodes, that are okay, but you rather see more important storylines. However, the last saga is quite good, but it seemed to be rushed. The storyline was great, but needed to be longer. Another problem is that it leaves too many plot holes, that can only be filled by reading the Manga. You get the sense that when the anime is finish, you’re left with this notion, “What happens next?” If you want to know the rest of the story, you have to buy the Manga. Other than that, the anime is quite good. Final Judgment- The Get Backers anime is a must see series in my opinion. The themes that are use are quite realistic. You can relate it to our real world, and that’s why I liked it so much. It contains memorable characters and moments. It has a lot of action and a great storyline to go with it. It has a good mix of humor, which is always a plus. Even though season two lost a bit of its magic from season one, the series from an overall view is good. Trust me, after you finish seeing the series, you would want to buy the Manga to see what happens to Ban and Ginji as their adventures continue. The Get Backers get a 8.5/10.

May! Keep an eye on your hands!

A friend of mine told me that she had a film she thought I should watch and review. And as every now and again RevanDesigns allows a special request or two to be taken under my wing I decided to go with this. This film had disturbed her and after my own viewing I can see why.

The film is called May and the only summary she gave me was along the lines of "Watch it, Oh my god watch it. She's like a loner and cuts pieces of people that she likes. AHAHAHAHAHA"

So before I even popped the dvd in I was worried about what my eyes were about to see. Oh and eyes mean alot in the context of this film.

May is indeed a lonely girl who suffers from some sort of lopsided eye syndrome. One of her eyes is offset and she needs special glasses or ointments ect. In her youth she had to wear an eyepatch, which probably was the main reason and beginning of her being outcasted and left alone.

She's also a weirdo. See you watch films where the loner dude or gal does odd things, things that the consensus laugh at or mock, but the viewer will ususally feel for the character and in some cases udnerstand their quirky actions and sympathise and aknowledge than not being like everyone else is cool.

Not in May though, oh lord not in May. She starts of as one of these clichéd defendable characters but quickly emerges from her shell of slightly bizarre to completely messed up rapidly. Her obssession with a car mechanic only gets more disturbing as the film progresses and it also gets pretty bloody. But the pivotal 'horror' part of the film isn't the scariest or most awkward. There's a scene where she SOMEHOW manages to get a date with the mechanic guy, who's hands she has fallen in love with. He finds her 'different' and interesting and despite the warning signs ends up taking her to bed. May gets ahead of herself and gets a lump of his lip in the midst of their date. His lip bleeds profusely and all May can do is rub the blood over her face making odd cooing noises. Mechanic Hands is obviously freaked out by this and decides to ultimately call it quits. Why he didn't call Dr.Phil or whoever the hell gave Dr.Phil credentials (cos that's gotta be a guy use to whackjobs) I don't know. He leaves and she rises from the bed confused as to what she could of possibly done wrong. Lets see....everything. Now at first I thought the horror/killing aspect of this film might come from the moment May and MechanicHands watch a short film he himself has made. It stars a couple in a park who start eating each other (steady) zombie style. MHands is curious to Mays reaction and May finds it to be a sweet story. You can see why I wondered if MHands would join her in some oddball slaughter spree. I was glad when he legged it. But unfortunately May knows no bounds, limits or restraining orders. She pursues him and he becomes her first victim.

But to understand my confusion you need to understand the pacing of this film. The murdering and 'collecting of body parts she most loves' doesn't happen until the last quarter of the film. The main chunk of this film is about May, the people around her who are oddly attracted to her and her naive childlike state. The most disturbing scenes are have nothing to do with murder. A scene involving a group of school children at a blind kids centre where May volunteers is the most horrifying part of the film. Mays obssession with her doll is consistent and sometimes you feel as if the doll is controlling May. But the fact that it's all May, all the time is what adds to the creepiness factor.

May is pursued in a seductive yet oddly abusive way by her co-worker, the moronic secretary played superbly by Anna Faris. She seems to find May fascinating and sets about trying to woo her. There's a point where she tries to seduce May and then asks her to look after her cat for a while (that doesn't end well for the cat). You think that she's merely flirting with May in order to get her to do stuff for her but later you realise that she really wants some sort narcissistic affair with her.

Everyone who May meets that has a handful of decent screentime ends up being chopped, sliced and gorroted. May hones in on a specific part of someones body, a part she finds appealing, attractive and loveable and then kills the person and detatches the body part from them.

What does she do with these body parts? Well she wants to make something...someone...a friend. Yes she's an expert seemtress our May and she shows of her taxidermy like skills by constructing this horrid franketstein like creature at the finale of the film. But one thing is missing an eye for which to see with. Yes May doesn't have enough time to run downstairs, out the building and jump on someone who has an attractive eye, so she decides "meh what the heck" and gouges her own eye out. It's nasty, mainly because of her screams. Any hope of this girl being aware of her actions and the world around her are dashed when she stabs her weak eye and yoinks it out. Then she crawls to the frankenfriend and places it on the head. Then the creepiest scene of all happens just before the credits role and the frankenfriend raises an arm and clutches her in a hug.

Did it really come alive or was it only in Mays deepest wishes?

Well personally I think it was all in Mays head. If the doll being some sort of evil controller were a part of the storyline I'd of thought the frankenfriend might have actually come alive, but it would serve no purpose to the film as this isn't a story of supernatural occurences. It's a story of a lonely girl, mentally disturbed and a bit too keen on what lies beneath your wooly mittens.
The film is surprsingly quiet for the most part, alot of cinematography will be focused on May, either from close up shots or from afar. Quite often these scenes will not be accompanied by any score or dleiberately obvious music and yet the soundtrack has some pretty rocky tracks. They start to kick in more around the time when May's deep anger and repression really shine or when she is commiting an act of murder.
If you want to watch something different that isn't standard by most released horror youth films and you really do want to be creeped out, then yes May does a good job despite it's quiet indie backdrop release.

4/5

Bride Wars

If you're looking for a comedy with weird plot twists and a sprinkling of humor, then you'll still be searching - Bride Wars excels at the former and sadly fails at the latter. It's not entirely silly sabotage and witless laughs as a few scenes and characters do stand out of the cliché wedding comedy crowd, but ultimately the tragic outcomes and easy clean-up of a far too messy situation will leave viewers wishing for a more comfortably predictable plot line.

Liv (Kate Hudson) and Emma (Anne Hathaway) have been best friends since childhood and both have always dreamed of a gorgeous June wedding at the luxurious Plaza Hotel. When both girls' boyfriends ask for their hands in marriage, Liv and Emma enlist the highly reputable wedding planner Marion St. Claire (Candice Bergen) to acquire their dream locale. Unfortunately a clerical error has their weddings set on the same day and thus begins a rivalry of increasingly ruthless sabotage as both girls refuse to reschedule their most important day.

No experimentation or originality can be seen in Bride Wars. Everything is terribly formulaic, from the music-narrated montages to the carefully patterned dialogue to the high points and low points for each of the heroines. When a half-expected love triangle forms, it is completely unnecessary and sorely mislaid - this is the kind of film where each event is better off contributing solely to comedy and every sad moment is best coated with ridiculous gags and off-the-wall mood-shifting resolutions. Touches of seriousness have no place in Bride Wars, which struggles so greatly with its adult dilemmas that the moments of humor feel forced - shoved into the cracks to even out the heartbreak most won't be feeling for these cookie-cutter characters.

If it wasn't bad enough that no individuality finds its way through all the girl-oriented giggling, hormonal wedding craze and subdued cat-fighting, the humor itself is oftentimes indecipherable from the drama. Sometimes it's funny to see these girls bitterly attack one another even if we're meant to sympathize, and other times it's disheartening when we're supposed to be laughing. Either way, so little of the film sparks interest or concern over two hopelessly contrived, generic best friends that it would be as wasteful to debate over them as it was to spoil two hours of valuable time watching the film. Hopefully even the target audience will realize the recycled, uninspired nature of Bride Wars.
2.5/5

Lost : A Show that's followed it's title too far?

I don't watch this anymore and never really watched it as a fan before. I'm not a Lost fan, just a past passive observer.
But I've heard about the island time hopping. So the island is a greeny exostic delorian?

I'm surprised people still watch this show and are as excited about it as they were when it first came out, cos it's gotta be frustrating.
Lost was a show that kinda brough back the idea of having the fanbase of a show try and work things out and give people things to tink about, clues ect. But for a show that's so famous in it's fan intrigue, it does a poor job of executing any satisfactory feedback.
There are 10 questions to every answer and what few answers the show gives, somehow through the magic of mindgames, creates another question. Too many.
Heroes (for all it's current problesm according to some) and BSG and any other show do a better job of maintaining a manageble ammount of puzzles, theories and prophecies in their story arcs. There's also a potential for the shows to actually answer every question come the end of their run.
Lost will never answer everything by the end of this season and next years final finale.
And you know that people will be upset with whatever the one big reveal is, as they've already covered so many theories themselves.

Battlestar Galactica Final Final: Brief Spoiler Recap

Spoilers

The Opera House Vision:
Well the visions of the Opera House shared by Roslin, Caprica, Gaius and Athena was brought back and answered in the finale.
We see them all chasing Hera as she runs throughout a battlefield Galactica, imitating the movements and seeing the decks and halls of the battlestar as what they saw of the Opera House. It was beautifully done and I'm glad it wasn't left behind. But at the same time what comes next isn't this big revelation and there's nothing spectacular when you see what's on the other side of the 'light'/CIC. The image of the white cloaked Final 5 peering down from the balcony of the Opera House is mirrored by the Final 5 peering down from a balcony in the CIC. It's tied up but just as a scene not as some revelation.

Laura Roslin:
Laura Roslin fulfilled her prophecy even though they'd given up on all that after finding the nuclear torn Earth from this Season. She arrived on the new Earth (our earth) and there she died while in the raptor cockpit with Bill Adama looking at the wonderful life the earth had to offer. It had me in tears. I kinda wished she would of lived long enough to see the log cabin Bill is going to build for her.
Roslin was my favourite character and in my eyes the President, the leader until the end. It was particularly sad that they all just parted ways when they landed on earth.

Kara Thrace:
Kara Thrace died in the episode Maelstrom and the person we've seen since her ressurection/return in Crossroads was...an angel. She imputed FDL co-ordinates into the Galactica that rsembled the notes from the song All Along the Watchtower (that I'm still not sure if her father was original composer cos would he have intentionally known it's influence).
This jumped the fleet to Earth 2.0 as it's being called by fans. This earth is our earth we know and they all dock in Africa.
Kara says goodbye to Lee and while he's talking about his desire to explore the new world and enjoy his life, he turns around and Kara is gone. I think she went to the other side to be alongside with Anders.
Anders led the entire fleet of ships into the sun.
The reason for this apparently, was because Adama decided that for a clean slate, a chance o intervene with the mantra of "All this has happened before..." they needed to try and just rely in themselves. So the Admiral had Anders take control via his Hybrid abilities of the fleet, and they went into the sun. I take it none of them ever went into space again. Which in a way is saddening, but I suppose they were all as humanity, sick of space.

Head-6:
It seems that Head6 and Head Baltar to a lesser degree, the figures that Baltar (and Caprica) saw from the start of the show were also...angels.

God:
God exists in the BSG universe.